Gray Face, Black Face
by yur.makin'.me.sober
Summary: Shinra is gone and the WRO has taken its place. With the Turk's disbanded, Reno now works a desk job for Reeve at the WRO, forced to live a white collar life. Unknown to the redhead, someone is after him. Reeve, wanting to keep Reno is the dark, enlists the help of one bratty ninja, assigned the daunting task of making sure the ex-Turk stays alive and out of trouble. Reno/Yuffie
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters, nor do I claim to. This is a perspective piece that has been co-written with another author, "Betwn3reds." This means that the writing will jump from one character to the other and share an overlap of some events. It is not necessarily linear and will back track slightly on occasion. It is easy to follow, however, so don't you worry.

* * *

**Gray Face, Black Face – Chapter 1**

He looked confused, and she couldn't blame him. The curiosity in his expression drew his eyebrows together, wrinkled his forehead, and tensed the straight line of his lips in a manner that seemed strangely human. _Too _human for her liking. Because if he was going to die soon, and no matter how much faith Reeve put in her, Kisaragi couldn't promise that she'd keep him alive for very long, she didn't want to see him as anything but the Turk she knew and hated from, seemingly, so many years ago.

In reality, last time she saw him, Reno was about four years younger, his hair was a little messier, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were a little less pronounced, and he was a lot less accessible than he was right now.

Currently, he needed her, whether he knew as much or not.

A languid smile spread the full line of the kid's lips. Karma really was a bitch. Four years back, the man was untouchable. Now. Well. Not so much. She could touch him. In fact, she was here to make sure he stayed breathing for as long as she could make him keep his lungs functioning.

It wasn't really surprising that after all the shit he's done during his time at ShinRa, he'd have enemies, but the stubbornness with which these old demons wanted to hunt him down was news. Yuffie, personally, had more important shit to worry about other than hunting down some Turk who might have dropped a whole Sector Seven Plate onto Midgar's residents.

Things like keeping that certain Turk alive. Without him knowing what it was that she was doing. Because Reeve was a sadist.

_A sadist, damn it_.

And, y'know, there was also that pretty logical reason for Reeve's madness of Reno decidedly declining the help if he got wind of the situation, and there was also this heartfelt reason all about forgiveness and change, but, eh, that never concerned Kisaragi much.

Stretching out on the Turk's bed, looking as comfortable as though she _belonged_, which she didn't, the kid twisted her smile into a full on grin.

"Grew up nice, didn't I?"

That was probably not what he was thinking, but she was going to pretend that it was to be expected that he would find her in his bed, four years after seeing her last, happy as a clam, waiting for him to come back home from work only to _compliment _her.

She needed to find a new god damned job. This one sucked.

* * *

Just what in the hell had he gotten himself into? Sure, he was no longer working for Shinra as a Turk, but the way Reeve originally pitched his so called "job offer" made it seem like this new job wouldn't be that much different from the old one.

Wrong.

Instead of running around and getting paid to cause mayhem and chaos, instead of getting paid to do the dirty work and kill people, he was being force to run around and enforce order and help people. Help people for fucks sake! Just who in the hell did Reeve think he, Reno, the notorious Turk of nightmares, was? Fucking whishy-washy emo Cloud Strife? Reeve was turning him into a do-gooder. A fucking squeaky clean do-gooder for crying out loud! Not only was this not what he signed up for, but he had a reputation to uphold god damn it.

So here he was, the formally untamed Reno of the Turks, chained to a fucking desk and forced to push papers under the cracking whip of the slave driver known as Reeve Tuesti. Or "Mr. Tuesti" as the asshole now preferred to be called. Not "Cat Fucker" or "Robot Lover" or "Reevie Wonder" or "Mr. Two-Fisty." No, just plain old, boring and overly professional "Mr. Tuesti"… and apparently the ship has sailed on just plain "Reeve" as well. Something about Reno blowing his chances and that only after he had displayed some maturity by consistently calling him "Mr. Tuesti" would the good old Cat Fucker even consider the possibility of allowing redhead to call him by his first name. And that went down before he even managed to clock in on his time card.

It was just one of those days.

The hours ticked by, moving slower than a slug caught in molasses. At one time, just to spite him, the redhead looked up at the clock and he swore to Gaia the damn thing clicked backwards. This place wasn't a job, it was fucking hell. Maybe he really did die when the Shinra building blew up and this was the afterlife. He was ensured a seat in hell, so perhaps this was it. It seemed like a logical possibility. It was now time to conduct an experiment and put his theory to the test.

Picking up his letter opener, Reno walked out of his office and over the nearest set of cubicles. Of course everyone knew the redhead, how could they not? Not only did his former reputation precede him, but it was kind of hard not to recognize the red hair and matching tattoos. Walking up to the co-workers desk, the nameless face looked up and greeted Reno with an honest smile, asking if there was anything he could do for his higher up.

"Put your hand on the desk," Reno asked, his voice dead pan and void of all emotion.

The co-worker was little confused, maybe even a little scared, but he was willingly, even if the man was hesitant about it.

This is where the snake went to strike, driving the letter opener into the center of, now apparently, Mr. Cry Baby's hand. The co-worker started screaming like a baby… hence the new nick name for face formerly known as Nameless.

So Mr. Cry Baby felt pain, a considerable amount of it in fact, which told the ex-Turk that this wasn't a dream. How upsetting. Sure, Reno knew that classically this test was supposed to be performed on oneself, but he wasn't stupid. What if it wasn't a dream? Then he would have a fucking letter opener stuck in his hand, which would hurt a whole hell of a lot. He might have been crazy, but the asshole sure as hell wasn't stupid.

After ending up in "Mr. Testies" office (Reeve didn't like that name either) Reno finished out his day, under close supervision mind you, before he was able to go home at the appointed 5pm with everyone else.

He hated this fucking rat race.

Throwing open his door, the ex-Turk went straight for the freeze, cracking open a fresh bottle of vodka and quickly taking three rather large gulps of the precious life blood. This job was making him more of an alcoholic than if he was as Turk. Now that was impressive. Wanting nothing more than to just crawl into bed and drink himself to sleep, the redhead lazily shuffled to his room, throwing his jacket and noose, aka neck tie, on the floor as he made his way down to the hallway, staring to undo his shirt as he continued walking. Happily, at least at first, the ex-assassin foung a very sexy and overly alluring woman in his bed. Stopping dead in his tracks, Reno looked at his newly open bottle, rechecking just how much he had consumed thus far. Even after checking three times it was easily concluded that he was far from the hallucination level of consumption.

She grew up nice? Fuck yeah she did. Now… just… who in the hell was this siren laying seductively in his bed? Not that he was complaining.

"Damn right ya did," the ex-Turk complimented with a devilish smile, now going to lean upon the frame of the door, tipping back his bottle for another overly large chug of bitter liquid. He didn't know why she was here or who sent her, and he didn't much care. It was time to get down to business, which was made clear to Yuffie as the bastard went to finish unbuttoning his shirt.

* * *

If he wasn't going to calm the hell down soon, Kisaragi felt like she might just have to write a very long explanation letter to Reeve, with an _extra_ sincere apology, for taking out the very man she was asked to keep alive. And between picking out the color the card should be, (red, in memory of the Turk's hair, or green, the color commonly associated with serenity, not to give Reeve an _immediate _heart attack), and deciding just how to make herself sound sincerely _apologetic_, (_not _sincerely _happy_), the ninja realized that the red-head most likely didn't remember who she was. There was no way in hell he'd be so _disgustingly affectionate _if only he remembered the little twig brat she was four years back.

Well, she'd better give him a sobering reminder, now, hadn't she?

Large, hazel eyes expressively rolling up towards the ceiling, Yuffie remained in her rather comfortable spot on the bed for a few more seconds, drawing out the jarring moment she'd have to stand up and face the chilling staleness of the mostly unlived in apartment, the brunette eventually crawled up to her feet. Lethargically, mind. Her oversized boots hit the floor with a loud thump that she didn't think to avoid because it summarized her complete lack of desire for Reno to finish taking off his clothes, no matter the handsome sight he made, rather well.

"Damn right my god damned foot. You don't remember who I am, do you, _Turkey_?"

Snorting, the ninja customarily allowed her hip to jut out in annoyance, arms folding automatically over her chest. The eyes that slowly drifted from the ceiling to the floor and back up again swept over Reno's mostly undressed frame, unamused.

In general, the brunette was feeling _un-fucking-amused_.

"Is it the alcohol consumption or the age? Because I thought I was special, Reno," she hummed, her words coming out deader than a coffin nail. "I mean, the amount of _affectionate _nicknames you gave me was just _staggering._"

Pausing, Kisaragi pretended to think a moment, but there was no need to do so. Every name came to mind unbidden and unprovoked.

"Twiggy? Brat? Kid? Snot-nosed twerp? Ninja with a fetish for balls?" Smirking, Yuffie nodded, as though in agreement with herself. "That last one I got you good for, remember? Right in those balls," she sing-songed happily.

Speaking of balls, it was high time she picked up the black comforter on the bed and threw it at the Turk to cover up because despite all the muscle, the brunette wasn't swayed into letting the man continue undressing. She also wasn't swayed into letting him continue working on that bottle, which the kid managed to procure out of the Turk's grip in the moment of his distracting battle with the comforter.

Sauntering out of the man's bedroom and into his living room, noting midway the lack of furnishings that made the apartment that much less inviting, Kisaragi took an experimental glance about the place before finding the kitchen.

But, more importantly, she found the kitchen _sink_.

It was there that she stopped, bottle held tilted at an alarming angle over the drain by the time Reno came around to finding her.

"Are you going to be good, or should I…?"

The bottle shifted in her hand, the mouth of it dipping down dangerously.

* * *

It took a moment, just a moment mind you, but sure enough Reno fucking remembered just who was standing in front of him and a mixture of impressed amazement and disgruntled annoyance was the result. How could one forget the little miss prattish Yuffie Kisaragi of Wutai? That stick like frame had certainly filled out nicely, forming plump round thighs and apple round breasts, which is perhaps why the redhead didn't recognize the Princess on sight. The moment she opened her mouth however, any and all doubt that was left completely vanish.

Oh yes, he remember that obnoxiously high pitched and overly energetic voice. How could he not? They had only had a few choice encounters back in the day, but that squeaky voice left a lasting and very scaring impression, much like nails on a chalkboard. Not only was the tonal frequency hard to forget, but there was also the speed at which the words flew from her mouth and the upsetting fact that the brat never shut up. She spoke at break-neck speeds, her lips moving a mile a minute and, even on his best day, there was no way the ex-Turk was able to keep up. Much like Willie E. Coyote in a classic Road Runner cartoon, Reno was left behind in a cloud of dust as the ninja sped off on her way. Normally this would be just a metaphor but tonight this aforementioned cloud of dust materialized as the comforter from his bed.

Apparently there was no getting down to business. In fact there was no business at all. Even further disappointing was that clearly said option was never on the table to begin with and did not seem all that likely to return to queue anytime soon. Although if the twerp didn't shut up soon, the bastard might be forced to take drastic measures to shut her the fuck up. An idea that sounded good in theory, but he was not sure if he was willing to risk his most precious and prized body part for just a few moments of silence.

By the time the redhead found his way out of the never ending comforter, the idiot realized that it was way easier to grasp the fabric with both hands than it should have been. Upon further examination, Reno made a rather disturbing discovery. His booze was gone. Leave it to the fucking ninja to be that smooth. She was a world renowned thief after all, one of the few who could actually give the ex-Turk a run for his money. With an amused snort, seeing that the girl had left his room, the bastard went to follow.

By the time the ex-assassin ended up in the main body of his house, Yuffie was making her move, threatening to pour his beloved mistress known as vodka down the drain. Little did the Princess know Reno had no loyalty to that specific lover and already had two other virgins waiting for him in the freezer. Also, the naïve little girl had no idea that the redhead had money burning a hole in his pocket so the fact that a $50 bottle of alcohol was about to slip down the drain didn't seem to faze him. The asshole was so unfazed actually, that instead of giving ninja any sort of rewarding reaction to her threat, the fucker mindlessly went to shuffle past the brat, wordlessly going to open the freezer and remove another mistress. Popping his newly acquired affairs cherry, the redhead leaned back on the counter, making himself comfortable in his classic lazy and uancaring sort of fashion, silently giving the kid a acknowledging nod and tipping the bottle to her before going to slam the damn thing back and start chugging.

* * *

With a small, somewhat negligent shrug, the ninja spilled the contents of the bottle straight onto the wooden panels of the kitchen floor. She didn't even feel bad about it, as the clear liquid spread itself along the ground, rounding her leather boots and curving the corner of the kitchen island. After all, she offered to keep the bottle intact, or, in the worst case scenario, empty it into the drain, if only Reno _behaved._

That, however, was an impossibility.

Gently, almost mockingly so, Kisaragi placed the empty bottle onto the kitchen counter, the glass of it making a hollow sound against the wood.

"If I have to rid you of another bottle, s'going on the carpet, Turkey," the ninja threatened before proceeding out of the kitchen, stepping negligently out of the puddle of alcohol she created and pointedly wiping her shoes against the carpet's edge once she stepped back into the living room.

Turning back to face the Turk, hip once again jutted out, arms folded over her chest, Yuffie gave her unwilling host the sweetest, most diabetes-inducing grin she could manage.

"I've no better place to stay than yours, after all, and I'll be damned if the _wonderful_ host that you are will be too drunk to keep me _intelligent _company."

The words made a small, involuntary shudder run down the brunette's back, making her fight to keep in a groan. The only reason she needed the man's company was to regularly check his pulse. And that would be hard to do if the ninja was attempting to strangle him for saying just the wrong thing at just the wrong time while a tempting bottle was close enough at hand to grab and swing.

"So? How comfortable is your couch?"

* * *

As Reno went to tip back his bottle, the swig of vodka his prize for showing up the little ninja, the redhead found that his victory was a little premature. Thinking he had all possibilities accounted for and assured that he did not care if any of them ran their course, the ex-Turk had not expect the fucking annoying brat to spill his lady love directly on to the floor. Taken by surprise, the usually emotionally composed assassin couldn't help but let his eyes grow wide as he went to lower his newly de-virginized lover. Staring at the clear liquid as it started to spill across his clean floor, the asshole couldn't help but let out a defeated sigh.

Fuck. He hadn't thought of that one.

Yuffie continued on of course, going to add insult to injury as she went to dry her alcohol saturated feet on his clean carpet. And she was the one who was raised as royalty and supposed to have manners and etiquette. The slum rat knew she did, which is what made the infraction that much worse and so damn insulting. The kid really could be a bitch when she wanted to. At least now that she had grown up and filled out so she looked damn good doing it. So good in fact that it almost made it bearable to let the tiny pip-squeak chatter on and on… and on… and on… Again, the key word there was "almost." Right now the best the obnoxious twerp was going to get from the redhead was him ignoring her, which is exactly what he did while he went to grab a kitchen towel, throwing it on the floor in a vain attempt to soak up some of the newly acquired Lake Vodka which had been recently added to his kitchen.

Again, without any prompting, the uninvited chatter box went along her merry way, letting words tumble from her mouth more as habit than for the purpose of entertaining an actual audience. Reno wasn't listening, well… maybe he was listening at a 20% concentration level, just enough to make sure he had enough time to react if the brat attempted to try and kill him. As the girls rant came to a close, the redhead was about done with his pathetic attempt to rid himself of the recent geological addition, swirling the alcohol soaked rag about with his foot on the once clean kitchen floor, managing only to spread the liquid evenly about it.

Did he mention how much he hated what his life had recently been reduced to?

It was the mention of the word "couch" that caught Reno's attention and the redhead went to play back the monolog that Yuffie had just pitched inside his head, this time making sure to listening carefully to every word she had said.

Wait… she wanted to sleep here? She wanted him to play host to her? Just what the fuck was this shit?! He didn't know this girl. In fact the last time they saw each other was four years ago and they were trying to kill each other. The ex-Turk knew the White Rose of Wutai was a little fucked in the head, but not to this degree. The thought process of "lets go stay at my once enemy's house because I don't wanna pay for a hotel" was not normal by any definition, even by Reno's standards, and he was the type of person who usually had that kind of thought process. Just what in the hell was going on, opposite day? Here he was, acting like an average white collar, upstanding citizen, actually caring about the state of his newly cleaned kitchen floor, while little Miss Priss was prancing about with a death wish, asking an assassin who once had her on his hit list to give her a dinner party. What in the hell was wrong with her? No, better yet… what in the hell was wrong with him?! It was at this point that Reno had enough. It was at this point that he realized that he had let things go too far.

Fuck it.

Taking the now empty bottle that Yuffie has discarded on the counter, without a single word or slightest indication of his actions, the Turk, because he was still a fucking Turk god damn it, wrapped his calloused hand about the neck of the bottle and held it above his ruined floor. Looking square into the brats eyes, a dangerous fire now burning bright behind those glowing mako orbs, the asshole snorted and smirked, releasing the bottle and showering the oh so precious tiles with glass shards.

Ahh yes, it felt good to not give a shit.

Picking up his neglected mistress, Reno went to lavish her with attention again, downing some rather large sips as he went to exit the kitchen. The glass crunched loudly under his shoes as he gave no attempt to walk around the dangerous mess as he went to saunter up to the unwanted and obnoxious brat, getting directly in her face.

"Look here kido," the redhead slured out, the stench of vodka and cigarettes heavy on his breath. "Ta deal wit yur high pitched, squirrel like chatter- squeak, yur at least a two drink minimum. Seein' as I'm a veteran alcoholic, those drinks equate ta bottles. Dun get me wrong, yur a lady an' I'm… apparently…" Reno couldn't help but roll his eyes bitterly with that last word, "da host a dis shot gun dinner party, so I'll make good on da ladys request an' only drink one bottle, in da spirit a compromise." Here the redhead snorted, this overly arrogant smirk growing bigger as he went to turn away and collapse onto his couch in a single and overly fluid motion, his feet ending up on the coffee table in front of him. "Take it or leave it toots."

* * *

Watching Reno's sudden change in demeanor, from his failed attempts to clean up the spill to his unnecessary aggression in breaking the empty bottle, left Yuffie with one very clear impression.

_Charming_.

Of course, it figure that the Turk would be _charming_, but Kisaragi never really wondered to what extent. Now she knew. To the extent of the insane variety. Good luck to her, and many thanks to Reeve, who was quickly losing his shot at that explanation and apology letter in case Reno ended up dead by her own hand.

Large, hazel eyes, rather expressively irritated, watched the Turk make his way from the kitchen to the living room, deciding that one bottle a night was probably the best offer she was going to get in regards to his alcohol consumption. Happily, the brunette could only imagine that years of intensive drinking built up the red-head's tolerance, to, arguably, the point where one bottle wasn't necessarily the worst that could happen.

Either that, or, on the other hand, if Reno decided to be a normal human being for once, he'd pass out, and then she'd be spared the company the moment he got home.

How long was this set up for, again? Just as long as Reeve found whoever was targeting most of the former ShinRa employees now working at the WRO, but, given the man's proclivity for overly thorough research and lack of risk taking, the whole finding process could stretch on for much longer than the kid's nerves could allow.

Deciding that she was not in the mood to entertain Reno's _gracious _offer, Kisaragi skipped full across what he said, deaf to the sass because she wouldn't last very long if she took seriously everything out of the man's mouth.

"I'm glad you find the couch comfortable because you'll be sleeping on it. G'night."

With that overly happy parting shot, Kisaragi found herself back in the Turk's bedroom, door locked behind her, sinking into the mattress, boots still on, and sporting a headache of migraine proportions pushing against her temples.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own these characters, nor do I claim to. This is a perspective piece that has been co-written with another author, "Betwn3reds." This means that the writing will jump from one character to the other and share an overlap of some events. It is not necessarily linear and will back track slightly on occasion. It is easy to follow, however, so don't you worry.

* * *

**Gray Face, Black Face – Chapter 2**

Why her, damn it?

Yuffie made her exit just as quickly as she made her entrance, leaving the redhead alone in his living room, the slamming of his bedroom door confirming the redhead was cut off from his precious and wonderful bed. Needless to say, Reno was completely lost as to what just happened. No wait, that was an understatement. After dealing with the events that just took place, the silence of his nearly empty apartment seemed deafening. The ex-Turk took a long look about the lonely room, throwing his head back haphazardly over the back of the couch as he let out a most pained sigh. Without looking, the bastard grabbed the soft pack of cigarettes that was sitting on the end table, flicking the pack up to produce a single stick, which he unceremoniously placed between his lips, not moving his head from its awkward position.

"Ain't dat grand," the bitter bastard groaned out sarcastically as he went to light his precious nicotine.

Silently, with Yuffie still locked away in his bedroom, the assassin smoked to his heart's content, alternating between drags from his cancers sticks and gulps of vodka, getting through several smokes before he was forced to finally sit up from the blood rushing to his head. Well, that killed an hour or two. Not nearly enough time for it to be morning yet.

Damn it.

Stupid fucking brat.

Once more Reno found himself stuck in hell as he waited for the time to pass. No matter how he stretched out on the couch, the fucker just could not get comfortable, not even after finishing a bottle and half of hard liquor. He wanted his bed damn it. Stupid fucking Princess. What made her think she could just take his bed away from him? No matter how much the asshole found himself cursing the nerve grating brat, he couldn't bring himself to cause an uprising and take back his sacred bedroom. Instead, after hours of tossing and turning, around three in the morning, the ex-Turk finally gave up.

He needed some fresh air.

Grabbing his jacket and throwing his EMR in his back pocket, the redhead was out the door, wandering the dark empty streets. Not knowing that his life was in danger, the Turk, because that's what he was damn it, took to the alleys and roof tops. The redhead had no destination. He had no goal. The old slum rat was just letting his feet hit the pavement, allowing his boot leather to lead the way. The cold, brisk night air helped to calm his savage mind, letting the tension from this forced white collar job wash away with each gust of wind. Time seemed to stand still while the redhead was introduced back into his element and the Turk finally felt like his old self. Even if it was only for a moment, that moment was sorely needed. Around the time that Reno decided he best head back the sun was threatening to rise, the warming glow creeping its way onto the buildings. The night was nearly over and it was time for nocturnal creature to return to his cavern… although someone would have a different plan in mind.

Reno rounded the corner leading into the last and darkest alley of his journey home when the redhead realized that he wasn't alone. This wasn't alarming, not in the least. If anything it was damn annoying. Still, what better way to end a perfect night then with some destructive, bone crushing violence? Stopping in the middle of the alley, the redhead's back to his so called aggressors, the Turk took his EMR from his pocket and open the weapon with a simple flick of his wrist, sending a near erotic chill down his spine. Oh god, how he fucking missed that.

"So… wanna play do ya?" the assassin asked, his words almost purring from his lips. Yeah… he enjoyed his job WAY too much… a bit too much actually.

At that moment, with his back still turned, the bastard was jumped by two goons. The redhead could hear each man move independently in the alley, his trained ears focusing on the individual sounds so that he could plot his timed attacks. Dropping to one knee, the Turk extend one leg as he went to twist his body, sweeping the legs out from under his first assailant. Still crouched on the ground, using the fluid motion of the prior technique, Reno pulled his free leg to his chest, placing both of his hands on the ground for support. Waiting just two seconds until assailant number two was the perfect distance away, the assassin kicked up into the mans chest, using his hands to push the continuing momentum forward, adding more force to the strike. Sounds of breaking ribs bounced off the alley walls, echoing loudly in the silent night. By the time that the redhead was done with his maneuvers, both men were left on the ground in crumpled heaps. On his feet, EMR resting on his shoulder, the redhead looked down at his handy work and smirked in amusement.

"Still got it, yo."

Unfortunately there was nothing left for the redhead to do, so sadly it meant that play time was over and he needed to return home. That was the assholes original intention, but things didn't quite go to plan. Letting himself get a little over confident, Reno made the mistake of letting his guard down as he went to exit the alley, leaving behind his handy work. Upon making his exit, a thug literally run into Turk, pushing him into a nearby dumpster before running off into the night.

Reno growled but the sun peeking over the roof tops stopped the native slum rat from pursuing. These were just your run of the mill, average street thugs, or so the redhead thought anyway. Definitely not worth his time. Only a block from his apartment, the assassin picked his ass up from the garbage he was thrown in and continue his walk home. There was a slight twinge in his side, but the bastard just chalked that up to over worked muscles from being out of shape. Yeah, he could still kick some ass, but it wasn't like it was part of his normal routine anymore. The explanation made sense to the idiot as he walked home, but once he was inside and had thrown his jacket onto the couch, the vast amounts of red that seemed to be staining his white shirt informed the dumbass there was another reason. Looking down at the ruined garment, the asshole let out yet another defeated sigh.

"Damn it," he grumbled to himself. "I like dat shirt."

Even as it came to a close, it was most certainly not his fucking day.

* * *

Restlessness started the moment her body hit the mattress, and insomnia kicked in soon after. Thereafter, staying in bed became impossible, and Kisaragi was soon pacing the confines of Reno's bedroom without much of an outlet for her sudden bout of energy. The television set in his room seemed to play nothing but late night shows. His closet was disappointingly empty in terms of fun stuff, instead, filled to the brim with standard issue clothing. Heck, even the bastard's window was spiting the kid by deciding to get stuck and not open when Yuffie eventually resorted to getting some fresh air.

It would so be her luck, too.

Idly, wandering her way back to the bed and flopping onto the expanse of its frame, Kisaragi stared blankly at the ceiling for what seemed like the longest time before the off white faded against her vision, and the only thing she could distinctly think about was how, despite being a downright brat about their sleeping arrangements, she still got the shit deal.

She should have taken the damn couch.

Thankfully, sleep claimed her soon enough, only to unceremoniously dump her psyche back into reality a few hours later, not rested and quite a bit more annoyed than when it passed out earlier on.

Groaning, Kisaragi felt around the top of the bed for her phone. It was in her pocket, and she happily didn't feel it uncomfortably digging into her hip, so it must have been lying around somewhere _not _where it was when the ninja fell asleep. Eventually, her hand stumbled onto the cool metal of the device, and dragging her eyes open, simultaneously dragging her phone open and to hang in front of her face, Yuffie blinked a few times at the lit display before registering that she only slept a grand total of three hours.

The PHS got dropped to the bed, and the ninja painstakingly sat up to confirm that it was, indeed, only daybreak, the light filtering through the window coming in dim and wispy.

The realization that she could still sleep was almost enough to knock Kisaragi back onto the mattress, but before she could seriously entertain the idea, she heard noise coming from the general vicinity of the living room, and much like a sleepy scepter, she gravitated towards the source of the sound until she was standing in the hallway, eyes wide, seeing a shit ton of red. And it wasn't just Reno's hair that was giving off the flash.

One step, two step, three, and the ninja was dashing towards the red-head, scowl at the ready, a hand grasping the nearest throw pillow on the couch to hit the Turk with something softer than her fist. The soft thing connected with the man's head before the ninja forcefully removed his hand from the wound to take a look at the full extent of the damage. She didn't yet know how he got himself knifed, but she doubted he had enough lacking sense to do this extensive a job himself.

Thankfully, the wound wasn't lethal.

With a sharp inhale through her nose, Kisaragi looked up from the injury and at Reno before hitting him with the pillow again.

And one more time.

And, for the hell of it, a couple more times before kicking him in the shin.

"Do you have a First Aid Kit, you idiot?"

* * *

Reno was too distracted with his own disgruntled feelings of his ruined shirt to notice that his so called guest had emerged from his bedroom. Instead the redhead was grumbling death threats under his breath while he started unbuttoning his shirt so it could properly dispose of it. He should have chased after the fucker. The asshole, shit-face, worthless street punk deserved his unyielding wrath. Not only had this trash ruined one of his favorite shirts, but the dick-hole was a common thug, completely beneath the level of where Reno was as a Turk, even an ex-one at that. The highly irritated assassin couldn't help but growl viciously, letting a small snarl escape onto his lips.

See what happens when you try and be good? It comes back to bite you in the fucking ass.

ALWAYS. No fucking exceptions.

The wounded bastard would be nearing his old homicidal tendencies when his growing temper was suddenly cut short as he was hit hard in the head with… was that a fucking pillow?

Caught off guard by not only having completely forgotten that someone was in the apartment with him, but the fact that he was just hit in the fucking face with a god damn pillow.

One of his pillows actually.

… what the fuck?!

A brief moment of confusion got a chance to show on the usually emotionless ex-Turks face, making the redhead give an oddly cute scrunched up face at the ninja as she went to pull his hand away from the injury in an attempt to take a look at the damage. To this the notorious killer, still stuck in a fuzzy land of confusion, his brain attempting to catch up from the "near lethal" clock to the head from a fashion décor pillow, snorted at the brat. Kneeling in front of him, obviously concerned for his health, it took all the bastards self-control to hold in his laughter. Never one to miss an opportunity for a sarcastic and insulting quip, the asshole opened his mouth only to be caught off guard once again.

He REALLY needed to stop doing that.

Yuffie was now standing in front of him, those oh so caring eyes filled with a blood thirsty violent rage. Now that was certainly contrasting from her actions. The girls gaze was intense. So intense in fact that it actually shut the fucker up. Instead, giving in to his inner puppy, the redhead cocked his head to the side curiously, giving the brat a very inquisitive look. Of course that didn't last long as the Royal Pain in his ass Princess walloped him again… and again… and again and again and again with the highly dangerous pillow of apparent mass destruction. Hey… that thing had corners after all.

"Hey!" Reno protested, raising his arms to instinctually protect his face, the movement causing the wound to spit forth another bout of oozing blood. "Yur gunna fuckin' gimme a concussion, yo!"

The asshole was serious to. Who knew a fucking pillow could be so damn dangerous.

* * *

Precisely _because _the damn pillow was _not _dangerous in the least, Yuffie was hoping that at some point between hitting Reno on the head and kicking him in the shin, the fluffy thing would grow jagged edges and leave a _lasting _mark on that handsome face because that was probably the only way any sort of comprehension would get through to that man's head. He was ignoring her inquiries about a First Aid Kit, as well, because he probably didn't have one, the confident asshole, which didn't improve the kid's quickly worsening mood. And she didn't wake up happy to begin with.

Stopping the assault on the _injured _Turk for just long enough to take a deep breath and remind herself that though the wound wasn't lethal it was still, undeniably, _bleeding_, Kisaragi finally relinquished her hold on the pillow, letting the interior accessory drop to the couch, where it belonged, safely out of the way of tempting the ninja to hit her _charge _a few more, god damned times.

And since Reno was so vocal about possibly getting a concussion from a _pillow_, Yuffie was pretty damn sure that he wasn't getting the gravity of the situation, which she couldn't very well tell him about on Reeve's orders, so her fingers twitched threateningly for her unkosher weapon again.

At least Kisaragi found herself satisfied that the red-head flinched at her movements.

_Serves him right_.

In fact, the brunette was of the opinion that he deserved whatever was coming to him.

_At her hands._

Whatever concern she held for the Turk, pushed back by anger, saturated her eyes again when she stepped away to glance about the room, as though curtains would make for some nice bandages on the off chance that the man really didn't have anything useful in his apartment for treating an injury.

Yuffie didn't bother asking again if Reno owned a First Aid Kit, moving farther away from him and towards the bathroom before, on second thought, coming back to drag the Turk along because who knew what he'd do if left unsupervised for another two minutes.

Thankfully, she found something of use in the washroom. There was no neat box, and no instruction manual, but there were bandages tossed under the sink, and needle and thread in the mirror cabinet, and even a disinfectant hiding behind the toilet.

Turning a frustrated glare at Reno for the extra work he made her do in finding all the necessary ingredients for one heck of an impending, crooked, painful stitching job, the ninja unceremoniously pushed him into the shower stall, leaving the glass door wide open to step in and yank his _favorite _shirt off him. And _rip _it, just a little more, at the collar, for good measure.

Turning on the water came next, the spray from the shower coming in cold and finally alarming Yuffie to a few, little details.

First, she was in the shower with Reno of the flippin' Turks. Second, she was in the shower with Reno of the flippin' Turks after having divested him of his shirt. Third, she and a half-naked Reno of the flippin' Turks were _wet _in the shower, _together_, while her hand was pressed into his abdomen, the other hand clutching at the disinfectant. Fourth, she had absolutely no idea how to patch him up because she's never had to administer first aid to anyone but herself before.

And fifth, she was now blushing.

_Fuck this shit. _

She was just going to kill him.

* * *

The redheaded wasn't sure if the brats onslaught with the pillow stopped due to his pain filled cries of mercy, or just because her arm was getting tired. Either way, there was a moment for the ex-Turk to catch his breath and the bastard was allowed just enough time to lower his self-made shield, if only slightly, and peer through the gap between the cover of his arms. It was here that he found a rather disheveled ninja, cheeks flushed and fluffed out in agitation, black hair messed up and falling into her eyes, with that mouth-watering chest heaving under all the over worked panting she was doing. Much to his surprise, the bastard found it a rather delicious scene... the only problem being that she was still wearing clothes. Finding the assassin's weakness as the bastard started to slip away into his own delight filled day dream, the brat raised the pillow again, the sudden movement causing the bastard to flinch. This was not because the asshole was scared mind you, it was because he had been so rudely ripped from his lust filled vision of delight, and right at the best moment to. Because of this, taking just a half a second to regain his composure and his control of reality, Yuffie was rewarded with one of his patented death glares, which was becoming way too familiar for the obnoxious twerp. Of course, much like the spoiled brat that she way, the Princess stormed off in that classic overly pompous fashion.

Forgetting the first rule of everything, after rolling his eyes Reno turned his back in his makeshift enemy, attempting to make his way to his lovers den… aka the freezer. The redhead was sorely in need of a quickie after being stabbed and nearly beaten to death with a fucking pillow. A fucking pillow! Sadly, Reno did not get that far. Unaware of his attacker since his back was turned, forgetting that she really was a ninja despite all her clumsiness, the bastard only got two steps toward his alcoholic goal before he was violently pulled away from the journey of his desired destination. A growl escaped the irate man's lips, but unfortunately that was all the aggressiveness the violent assassin got to show. For once in her life it was to the ninja's advantage that she was so damn short for the angle of which she was forcefully pulling the redhead along was just enough to cause his wound to be constantly agitated, sending spikes of unyielding pain coursing through his body, rendering him unable to retaliate. Lucky for her.

Also lucky for the death wished ninja was the fact that she went to throw Reno into the shower, immediately going to rip off his shirt. Whatever murderous plans the ex-Turk had in store for the soon to be dead Princess were be put on hold for shear curiosity had gotten the better of him.

Just what in the hell was she doing?

It was at this point in time that the events of Yuffie's arrival started to play over in the smug bastards head. The kid was already in his bed when he arrived home, she wanted him to "entertain" her which, apparently, was a task that needed his full concentration so he couldn't be drunk, and then she had stormed off back into the bedroom, then once he arrived back home after not following her into said bedroom, she proceeded to beat him senseless with a pillow for some unknown reason.

Was the cute little tike looking to engage in a one night stand?

Aww… how cute.

This thought would made Reno smile… devilishly… which was never, ever a good thing.

Standing there in the shower, shirtless, completely drenched, his crimson hair now clinging to his pale, scared, and well-toned flesh, the lust filled bastard stared down at the child in question as she bent down to examine his wound. About the time that Yuffie began to realize what sort of situation she had gotten herself into, Reno was already smirking from ear to ear. When the brat eventually lifted her head and look up at the bastard, their eyes would lock and, if only for a brief moment, there seemed to be a spark of electricity between them.

Of course whatever fuzzy, heart pounding, breath taking feeling the Princess might have possibly felt immediately vanished as soon as the sex crazed idiot opened his mouth.

"Ya could at least buy me dinner first, yo" Reno purred out in a smooth, unyielding baritone that seemed to flutter down the kid's skin, a little too much for her liking.

Of course, as was usually the case, the redheaded idiot had gotten it all wrong.

* * *

Kisaragi liked to think that she could be sensible when she needed to be. She liked to think that if she respected Reeve enough to take this assignment from him, this assignment of _utmost importance_, as the tyrant would have her believe, then she had enough will power in her to not kill Reno.

That didn't mean that she had enough will power in her not to knock the arrogant Turk out.

Not that the ninja was necessarily going for causing him any real damage. Her fingers just sort curled up around the disinfectant. And her fist just sort of connected with the man's jaw. And his head just sort of jerked back into the wall behind him. And he just sort of then proceeded to pass out, like the dramatic bastard that he was.

So there was Yuffie, standing over a passed out, bleeding Reno, and all she could think was that his face was under the stream of water, and if she didn't move him soon, he wouldn't be able to breathe. So she moved him, dropping the disinfectant and the mostly wet bandages, happy that the needle and thread were left on the bathroom sink counter. The brunette huffed quietly, leaning over the Turk and proceeding to pull him into her, away from the steady stream of water, to the opposite wall of the stall from the affixed shower head.

She crouched down in front of the man, readjusting him until the stab wound at his side was visible. Now able to get at the injury, Kisaragi did her best to clean it and disinfect it. Of course, stitching it up and dressing it made for a much more difficult task.

For one, Yuffie actually had to drag her charge out of the shower. For two, she had to dry him off. For three, drying him off meant undressing him. For four, she had to drag the red-head out of the bathroom and to the bed. For five, she didn't want to do any of it.

So the kid ended up staying mostly still, her forehead collapsing down against the red-head's chest, while she pretended that she wasn't feeling the warmth of his blood spilling onto her thigh.

In the end, Kisaragi did manage to drag the Turk out of the shower. She even managed to dry him off and, blushing like mad and diverting her eyes, undress him. Naturally, she made for quite a scene, trying to fiddle with his pants while looking the other way. And, of course, she made much more of a scene while trying to get him into sweatpants she found in the closet, still looking the other way while muttering profanities under her breath.

By the time Reno ended up in bed, somehow, with crooked stitch job lining his injury and a half-wet bandage sloppily wrapped around his middle, Yuffie saw decidedly more than she ever wanted to see and felt like rewarding herself for a job not-so well done by going to sleep.

Briefly contemplating taking the couch, the ninja eventually decided to fuck the whole propriety thing because after what she's been through, she deserved the damn bed.

When Reno woke up a few hours later, most likely feeling like he's been through the wringer, which was probably true to some extent, he'd have a ninja passed out at his side, a pillow with a head of raven hair placed uncomfortably onto his chest, and a small hand on his cheek keeping his face turned _away _from Kisaragi.

* * *

Reno was waiting patiently in the shower for a response from Yuffie. He wasn't exactly sure what type of reaction he was going to get, but the redhead was expecting one none the less. The brat always seemed to have some sort of bubbly, usually obnoxious, opinion… on everything! She was more than willing to share it too, despite how much you didn't want her to. In fact, even when you tried desperate means to shut her up, the girl still managed to somehow weasel in her two cents. It was as if the more you tried, the more the brat fought to let the world know her thoughts. The ex-Turk wasn't sure if that was a good quality or not, at least not when it came to him. The child talked too much as it was and he didn't need her to have some twisted sense of determination fueling her motor mouth.

But… going back to the topic at hand…

There were two types of reactions that the kid could have. The first was that his theory of a one night stand was correct and the ninja would either jump him or return his flirting. The redhead crossed his fingers for this reaction, but somehow the bastard knew he was going to get the other, unfavorable, reaction. It was just his luck after all. Besides, Reno never seemed to get what he wanted… ever. The more the asshole thought about his impending disappointment, the more he began to wonder if he actually wanted the girl to make things easy for him. Honestly, the assassin could walk into any establishment and walk out with an entourage of women if he so chose. The opposite gender was always more than willing to drop to their knees and/or spread their legs for him. Yeah sure, that sounded nice, and at times when he was looking to get off it was great, but over the years it just got, well… boring. There was no more thrill of the pursuit. There was no more excitement in the chase. There was no more glory in the hunt. How could you brag if you just bagged the same beast everyone else had already managed to take a ride on? So basically… Reno wanted to fuck the little Princess, but he didn't want her to make it easy for him.

Masochist.

Still, the ninja had no problems granting the fuckers wish.

While the ex-Turk was mulling over his own thoughts, debating the important dilemma on hand, Yuffie punched the asshole square in the jaw. The force alone was not enough to knock the bastard out, but again, as was Reno's usual luck, he managed to lose his footing on the slippery floor, sending himself flying backwards where his head happened to hit the immoveable wall behind him. Tunnel vision immediately set in and the assassin knew there was no way to fight the impending black out.

He was never going to live this down.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own these characters, but the writing and ideas are my own.

Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out, its been a hectic week or so in the real world. I have quite a few chapters done already and my goal is to post one every week or every other week depending. If you like this story, there will definitely be more to come. Send me comments and let me know what you think of it so far. I would love to have some feedback.

Thanks for reading everyone.

* * *

**Gray Face, Black Face - Chapter 3**

The redhead wasn't sure how much time had passed, but when Reno woke up all he could think about was the sharp, horrible pain in his neck from his head being forced into an unnatural angle while he slept. With a groan, his head swimming from his concussion, the bastard attempted to shift to a more comfortable position. The redhead, of course, was be met with resistance. This he was not expecting. Opening his mako infused eyes despite their protest, much to his surprise, ex-Turk found the ninja asleep next to him, adorably pushing his head away from her in some sort of vain attempt to keep the horn ball at bay. Like that would have deterred him if the asshole was actually conscience. Still, let the little tike think what she wanted, perhaps the false sense of security could work to the bastards advantage at some point in the future. All that aside, the stupefied idiot managed to lazily crawl out from the bed, clutching his head, doing his best to bite back a wince.

Wall one, Reno nothing.

Groaning and mumbling a string of colorful and creative profanities under his breath, the redhead shuffled out of his room, back towards the bathroom to grab some much needed pain killers. This headache was going to be the death of him today, he just knew it. As the bastard reached the doorway, something caused the emotionless asshole to turn back and look upon his bedroom. There, looking so small against his king sized bed as she went to curl up into a ball, shivering from the warmth that was suddenly lacking, the heartless jerk was reminded just how much of a helpless child the ninja actually was... on most occasions anyway... or at least this specific one none the less. Not sure what compelled him to do so, Reno rolled his eyes and shuffled all the way back over to the bed, grumbling under his breath the entire way, taking the comforter that had fallen onto the ground and throwing it over the pathetic twerp.

"Stupid brat," Reno snorted to himself in amusement, unaware of the smile that sneakily crept upon his lips.

That out of the way, the redhead continued on with his quest to seek out pain killers, which he downed with copious amounts of his loveable lady vodka.

Yes, today was going to be another one of those days… again.

* * *

Hazel hues appeared from under a fluttering layer of eyelashes only to stare blankly up at the unfamiliar ceiling. It took Kisaragi a good few minutes of lacking concentration to figure out where exactly she was. It took her longer still to come to the conclusion that she didn't really like where she was. Her drying clothes were clinging uncomfortably to her frame, the comforter that was pulled over her made the ninja irritatingly warm, and, of course, and most importantly, the whole night spent at Reno's was a huge waste of the kid's time because the bastard not only managed to sneak out on her watch, get himself knifed, and then pass out, (with just a bit of help from Yuffie), but was now cooking breakfast as if nothing happened, judging by the sounds coming through the cracked open bedroom door. For a moment, albeit, only for a moment, Kisaragi almost felt bad. It seemed like the Turk was just living a more or less ordinary life, and she barged into his schedule unannounced because Reeve decided that it was of utmost important that the red-head have a guard. She more preferred to think of the position as a _handler_, but that was all semantics. What wasn't semantics was the fact that she was going to go about this whole _handling_ business a whole other way. Maybe without her at his house, Reno would keep out of trouble and pretend to be average.

_Or something._

One could hope.

So Kisaragi crawled out of bed with a groan, body protesting, and disappeared out of Reno's apartment, managing to not catch the Turk's attention on her way out the front door while he was messing around in the kitchen.

Not that she left Reno alone entirely. Yuffie did make a promise to the tyrant known as Reeve, after all, and she was starting to wonder if there was something special enough about the red-head to get the robotics-loving man so worried. So she made sure to thoroughly carry out her duty, and over the course of the next two weeks, Reno would see a very familiar face popping up just about everywhere. However, looking again would yield him no answers to the obvious questions of what the ninja was doing at his job, at his favorite bar, around his apartment building, or anywhere else he deemed it necessary to go because she'd vanish just in time to avoid his gaze.

While, otherwise, nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Nothing at all.

Not once was the Turk attacked, nor was he tailed by anyone but Yuffie.

This lack of excitement on, supposedly, exciting field duty made the ninja grow lax with her efforts to stay hidden. More so towards the end of the first week and on. By that point, Reno might have been able to spot her more commonly, rolling her eyes and disappearing out of sight, until the annoyed kid reached the pinnacle of her apathy come Saturday night of the second week.

Kisaragi wasn't quite sure what Reno was doing out and about, going to the bar, most likely, but she waltzed her way after him regardless, entering the dark alley behind _Seventh Heaven _without a thought to masking her steps. Of course, she knew that the echoing footfalls belonged to her, someone who meant Reno no harm, _usually_, but she failed to remember that the Turk had no such knowledge.

So Yuffie watched him, in confusion, until his tense shoulders were too difficult to ignore, and he suddenly stopped walking, leaving only her oversized boots to make echoing thuds against the uneven concrete. The brunette quickly became too curious to just let this odd behavior slide, the haste of her footsteps increasing the closer she drew to the red-head to catch him before he started walking again.

Without a thought, Kisaragi found the man's shoulder, placing a hand on it to grab Reno's attention.

Big, fuckin' mistake.

* * *

That morning after the redhead was done making breakfast, seeing as there was food left over, he prepared a plate to bring to the bratty ninja. He was supposed to be a host after all… right? Reno wasn't exactly sure why he felt so obliged to be kind to the obnoxious twerp, all she did was cause him trouble and pain, literally, as well as act as a painful thorn in his side. The girl had done nothing to provoke such a weakness from the ex-Turk, yet he found himself bringing the pip squeak food anyway. He must have been going soft in his old age. This white collar life was going to be the death of him, he just knew it.

Defeated but unable to help himself, Reno walked back to the bedroom only to find that Yuffie was already gone. A bit relieved that there were no witnesses to his momentary lapse in judgment, there was still a part of the bastard that was pissed off that the ninja had managed to slip away. After all the trouble he went to, which wasn't really any trouble, cause this was just left over food, not like he purposefully prepared extra or anything, he just misjudged how much he was going to eat. Honest mistake. Right...?

Right.

Over the next couple of weeks the bastard started to think that he was going crazy, or crazier as the case may be. It was as if the asshole was seeing the troublesome Princess everywhere he went. One moment the assassin would catch a glimpse of the girl out of the corner of his eye, but when he went to double check, she was be gone, no trace left behind, as if she was never really there to begin with. That was probably the case. That had to be the case. Why would the little brat be following him anyway? The idea was preposterous. Still, the asshole couldn't help but notice a hopeful flutter every time he thought he saw the brat popped up in his periphery vision. God… there was something wrong with him. Maybe he should have that heart palpation checked out by a doctor. After the first three days, the redhead did his best to push these strange and unwelcome feelings and reactions deep down within him, throwing away the key to the closet he locked them in, chalking it up to the seasonal bug that was going around. Sure, that didn't make any sense logically, but it was enough for the asshole.

By the end of the two weeks with Yuffie appearing and disappearing, despite how much the Turk tried to run from the overly persistent hallucination, he truly started to think he was loosing it. As was his usual response to just about everything, in this apparent time of desperation Reno turned to his cure all solution… getting shit faced drunk. This is how the little ninja ended up following the assassin into an alley late one Friday night, the only mistake being that the twerp was doing a piss poor job of tailing the bastard.

Going to start his long stumble filled journey home, Reno left the bar near closing time, so intoxicated that he needed to put forth actual effort to put one foot in front of the other. Stepping out of the stuffy environment, the redhead stood outside the door, letting the cold night air caress his warm, flushed skin. There was a moment of clarity as the brisk night air cleared his mind. Savoring the inspirational moment the idiot went to indulge in the fresh air, inhaling deeply before pulling out a cigarette and lighting up. Oh yeah… that was the stuff. Alcohol running through his veins and smoke filling his lungs, the asshole was finally ready to focus on the endeavor of going home. The bastard was used to this, he was a seasoned alcoholic after all, but once he turned down a dark and abandoned alley to take a shortcut home, things started to get interesting.

With the noise of the road behind him, the distractions of the city night fading off into the distance, the Turk could not help but notice that he was not alone. Deep thudding foot steps seemed to echo his own as he walked along his apparent course. Not sure if his hearing was starting to distort the sounds around him from his intoxication, the redhead stopped in the middle of the abandoned alley, holding his breath and listening carefully. Of course, Yuffie didn't stop in time giving away her position and intentions.

Reno knew he wasn't alone.

Being the paranoid fucker that he was, the redhead flicked his wrist slightly, allowing one of the throwing knives that he kept strapped to his forearm to creep into the palm of his hand. Hello… paranoid! The assassin never left home without having at least three different weapons hidden on his person. Armed and ready to react if need be, the sensory heightened Turk slowly continued forward again, slowly, this time being light on his feet, ready to react like a snake coiled to strike. Unfortunately for Yuffie she made the mistake of reaching out and touching the twitchy bastards shoulder. Before the ninja knew what she had done, it was too damn late.

As soon as the redhead felt the hand upon his shoulder, Reno reached up and took a firm hold of the offending appendage, clamping it down tightly upon his shoulder, ensuring the owner couldn't escape. Shifting his weight back, thrusting his hip hard into the brats stomach, hard enough to make her wince, the tiny girl found her feet lifted off the ground, however her journey did not stop there. The ninja was on a non-stop flight, her body starting to travel through the air as the Turk went to bend forward, still holding onto her hand, taking the child with him. By the time the Princess realized what was going on, her body, now fully in mid air, reached the point of no return and there was nothing the girl could do to avoid the bone rattling landing. As her back went to hit the grimy alley floor, knocking the air out of her lungs, it took a moment for her to regain her senses, which was just long enough for the assassin to make his move, pinning the child to the ground with his knee in her chest, holding the once hidden knife against her throat dangerously, a wild and untamed snarl upon the bastards lips as he stared down at the brat with murderous eyes.

* * *

If her experience aboard the _Highwind _taught her anything at all, and she was told it was supposed to teach her quite a bit, (all lessons the ninja happily skipped over, by and by), it was that flying was decidedly _not _her thing. After the formation of those charming memories that involved the _pleasant _reintroductions between Kisaragi and the food she managed to eat between take off and take off, the brunette swore off flying. Her motion sickness was just not worth the convenience.

And here she was, to her surprise, flying once again, without an airship, and boy was she not happy about it. Tremendously less so about the landing.

The air gathered in her lungs to ask Reno, in the most sarcastic way the kid could, why he was acting the very picture of paranoia got knocked out of her lungs when her back hit the uneven pavement of the alley floor, leaving Yuffie gasping for air, lips parted, curse ready on the tip of her tongue, if only she could get her lungs working well enough to speak.

Of course, before she managed anything of the sort, it became painfully clear to the brunette that her joyride, not on _Highwind_, but, really, for all intents, purposes, and levels of unpleasantness the same damn picture in profile view, was far from over. A glint in the dark alerted her to the presence of a metal object, and the feel of something sharp and cool at her skin alerted her to the, more specific, presence of a knife at her throat.

And here Kisaragi was, still trying to breathe, eyes wide and mind reeling because what kind of a fucking reaction was this?

All she wanted to do was ask what the hell was the matters with him! Well, pardon her for, y'know, pretending to worry about his wellbeing and all that fun shit. God damn Turk.

The longer the kid stayed still, and the more air she gathered in her lungs, the more annoyed she became, until her fingers were twitching for her shuriken with the intent of grasping the weapon and swinging a sharp edge up to the red-head's side, _at least_, where she could get him nice and good and _painful_.

The ninja barely kept still, hand flattening against the concrete and eyes narrowing in clear anger.

"You got some issues, Reno," she ground out. "Some issues that need resolving without cutting me to pieces in the process!"

Forget the fact that she probably alarmed him with her own careless behavior, which was a fact that was swimming up to the forefront of the kid's mind that she tried, very hard, mind, to push away and bury. Nevermind, also, that it was probably a good thing he acted first and asked questions later when it came to his safety, given the impending hit out on the guy's head.

And then there was this whole bit about Reno still pressing her into the ground, his hand digging uncomfortably into her side, and the smell of alcohol rolling off him in waves, making her nose crinkle and her face grimace.

"Now get off me, aye?"

* * *

It was the sound of her voice that snapped the Turk out from his murderous, self preservation like trance, and when the redhead came back to reality, Yuffie noticed a rather obvious change in his eyes. No longer were they cold, dead and glassed over, his gaze focused past her and on his inherent goal, but, like a switch, those eyes melted slightly, still cold, but no longer as dangerous and they actually looked at and acknowledged her. It looked as if the assassin was back in control of his reactions, no longer acting on animal instinct. The ninja knew the blood thirsty Turk was dangerous, but she never truly understood how much so until that very moment. It was clear to her now that most of the time the bastard was just playing and the girl suspected she was one of the few survivors to tell the tale of when the notorious killer was actually being serious about his work.

No longer in survival mode, that snarl slipped into the assholes patented smirk, first looking into the brats eyes. That didn't last long though for those mischievous eyes smoothly traveled along her curves, sliding down her sprawled out body that was pressed to the ground under the bastard. Perhaps this uncomfortable feeling of the ex-Turk undressing her visually spurred her to snap at him to get off. In return the arrogantly smug bastard chuckled to himself, flipping the blade of his knife so that the flat of it was pressed against the kids cheek.

"I dun know…" the now unusually playful jerk drawled out, going to rap the flat of the blade gently on the ninja's flesh. "I kinda like ya like dis, yo."

From murderous to flirtatious, just like that. It simply amazed and astounded the girl. Just how in the hell was this bastard allowed wonder the streets? Oh yeah, he used to be a Turk, where one of the job requirements was to be psychotic or sociopathic, and was therefore granted special privileges and allowed to roam the streets despite his mental and social deficiencies. Lucky him… or was it lucky her?

It didn't matter, any thoughts Yuffie might have been thinking were brought to an abrupt halt when the stench of the alcohol saturated breath of the redhead hit her nose. Now she knew part of the problem… the bastard was shit faced drunk. Out of his killer mode, his tense and overly responsive muscles relaxed, and the brat found it now easy to overpower the intoxicated asshole if she so wished. The difference between the two Reno's was like night and day, further supporting the fact of how dangerous the ex-Turk was, reminding her that this charge was a ticking time bomb and that she should remember to handle it with care.

With a little encouragement, the redhead rolled off the ninja, sitting on the ground, offering a hand to help her up. If at first the Princess didn't take the bastard up on his offer to help her up, he became more aggressive with the gesture until she felt almost obligated to do so. Of course, it was a trap mind you, and as the brat took the assassins hand he pulled her hard towards him, causing the surprised ninja to fall forward on top of the jerk face, her small dainty hands landing on his chiseled stone like chest to catch herself, their noses literally bumping with the close proximity.

"Hey darlin'," the overly smug fucker smirked at his prey. "I like ya dis way to, an since I'm a gentlemen, I'll let ya pick which way ya want it."

* * *

Yuffie wasn't exactly sure what the asshole was talking about, it was too hard to concentrate with her smell receptors flooded with the overbearing aroma of bitter alcohol and stale cigarettes, but she knew it had to be something sexual. With Reno is was ALWAYS something sexual.

Within the span of about a minute, Yuffie managed to end up under Reno and then on top of him, so, needless to say, she was getting decidedly annoyed at all the proximity. Her dangerously rising levels of irritation weren't helped by the red-head's suggestive comments throughout the whole unpleasant ordeal. She might have been just naïve enough not to fully understand what he was getting at, but she wasn't naïve enough not to understand that straddling his stomach was a position too suggestive for her own liking.

With a growl, the ninja used her hands to push down on the Turk's chest, simultaneously sitting herself up and pushing his head back into the alley floor. The brunette was rewarded with a satisfying thud, very familiar to the one she heard in the bathroom, but, this time, instead of a passed out Reno, she was greeted with a pair of very much open, very much lucid, (past the intoxication), pair of aquamarine hues.

So he didn't pass out this time, and Kisaragi was honestly not sure whether she was happy or upset about it. In the end, imagining dragging a passed out Reno made her wince, so, she supposed, she could admit to being happy he was still conscious. Or rather, just happy enough not to try knocking him out again. For real this time.

The ninja swung one leg around to stretch both of her lower extremities to the Turk's right side, plopping her butt down on his stomach, which yielded her a groan, and leaned her back to the alley wall, which was pressed up against the man's left side with all the rolling he decided to do. How he was so energetic given the copious amounts of alcohol he must have consumed was still beyond Yuffie, but, as long as he stayed still now, she could ignore the whole alcohol bit.

"You could sterilize a needle with your breath, you know that?"

Or not.

Yeah, definitely not.

And speaking of breath, after making herself comfortable on the Turk's abdomen, Kisaragi proceeded to just as comfortably search his pant pockets, as though committing the most natural action given the situation, until she stumbled across his pack of cigarettes, complete with a lighter jammed in.

Taking out a cancer stick, the brunette unceremoniously stuck it in Reno's mouth. Heck, she was even nice enough to light it for him, after fumbling with the lighter for an embarrassingly long moment.

The less talking he'd be doing, the better.

And just to spite her, seemingly, the moment that thought crossed Yuffie's mind, the damn Turk opened his mouth, as if on cue, to say something, no doubt, perverted, judging by the smirk twisting his lips, but the ninja just managed to cut him off in time with a glare and a nice, rough readjustment of her weight on his abdomen.

"S'your own damn fault for leavin' the bar without anyone to show for it. Don't take your frustration out on me."

* * *

With how drunk the idiot was, the small and fragile looking ninja had no problems pushing and moving the dumbass. In fact, as she pushed up off the marble like chest, she found very little resistance, sending the unusually hallow head hard into the ground. The resounding "thud" echoed down the alley but the intoxicated bastard didn't even seem to notice. Oh yeah… he was tanked. Lucky Yuffie… or was it lucky Reno?

Whoever was lucky, it didn't matter once the Princess went to swing those full and shapely legs about, catching the redhead's attention much like a dolphin with fish. The jackass even started to drool at the sight of the delicious looking treat, not that the ninja noticed, she was always so clueless to such things. Now sitting on the bastard like a bench, the child had more confidence to express her annoyance in obnoxious quips. The redhead had to admit, those sharp words of hers usually made him laugh. If anything, she was always entertaining with her unusual observations. The brat didn't think normally, which was nice for a change. Everyone, especially since he had gotten sucked into the cookie cutter world of White Collar Doom, thought the same. They all had the same reaction. There was not one independent thought amongst them, like one giant collective, like ants. Busy little worker ants, running about as fast they could, doing daunting tasks that had no real purpose in the big picture. Dedicating their lives to the mass organism, doing what was asked with no questions. And why? For what reason? Reno would be damned if he could ever figure it out. Bunch of fucking mindless idiots, anyway. He didn't give a shit about no fuckin' ants.

Ooo… pretty legs!

Reno licked his lips as he finally came back what was happening in reality. There was no time for that philosophical bullshit at the moment, not with a pair of sweet legs begging for attention.

As was usually the case, the redhead wasn't really paying attention to Yuffie or what she saying to him. Sure, he groaned and grumbled when she bounced on his stomach in a vain attempt to keep him in line, but his twitchy and oh so frisky hands were crawling toward those tempting thighs of hers. The current train that the Turk was on was about to be derailed… again… as it was about this time that Yuffie went to shove her hands into the assassins pockets.

...hello?!

Reno's body had an immediate reaction that he was not able to control, nor did he really want to either. Little delicate fingers were crawling lightly around his upper thighs, sending goose bumps along his skin as she went to look for something. The bastard didn't know what exactly, but he didn't much care. In a vain attempt to draw out the attention, the redhead lightly twisted his hips about, trying to keep whatever items he had in his pocket out of the childs grasp. He eventually lost the game, but at least he gained himself an extra added minute of excitement.

Oh, it was his smokes. The doll was getting him a cigarette. How nice of her… especially since he needed one after that little game.

The ex-Turk was grinning a little too happily when the Princess went to place a cancer stick between his lips, going to even light the damn thing for him. Of course, Reno wouldn't be Reno if he didn't go to make some sexual comment, but the annoying pip squeak had already anticipated his move, placing soft fingertips against his lips to shut him up.

… cherry blossoms.

She smelled like cherry blossoms.

Letting his eyes flutter closed, the redhead went to take an extra long whiff of the sweet, enticing scent.

… unfortunately the idiot forgot that he had a cigarette sealed in his lips, the inhale pulling in the nicotine and filling his lungs with unexpected smoke. As a natural reaction of suddenly and unexpectedly being deprived of oxygen, the Turk began to cough violently, sending the offending, smoldering culprit, skipping across the ground as it was expelled from from his lips with extreme force.

The asshole coughed some more, his voice horribly gruff as he attempted to make some sort of smooth comeback.

"I'm leavin' wit you now, ain't I?"

Even dying from a random coughing fit, the redhead was never one to miss an opportunity.

* * *

"Smooth."

So smooth.

Even so, Kisaragi couldn't help but worry that Mr. Smooth would smoothly hack up a lung if she let him continue coughing. So she let him continue coughing. Hey! It wasn't a completely heartless act. There was just nothing she could do but watch his cigarette hop and skip along the uneven concrete away from the mismatched duo on the ground.

…

Or, she supposed, she could do something.

The kid placed a hand on Reno's shoulder, roughly making him sit up because he had a better chance of calming his fit in a position other than, y'know, the one constricting his airway.

Meanwhile, the ninja chose to completely ignore the Turk's quip about leaving with her because he wouldn't be leaving with her if he didn't act like such a paranoid bastard earlier. And now, well, now her conscience wouldn't let her walk off because he was in full on dumbass mode, and Yuffie couldn't just leave the poor, challenged red-head in need, now, could she?

Well, that was her story anyway. And her excuse, as well, for getting off the Turk and not just walking away. Rather, the brunette offered Reno a hand to get up himself.

Once the Turk was on his feet, Kisaragi took a step back but remained close enough in case the man's legs decided not to support his weight. She knew she was hovering, but the ninja pushed that annoying thought to the back of her head because she didn't need to explain to Reeve how it happened that Reno ended up dead in an alley, with a cracked open skull, because she let him trip and die.

Yes, a bit dramatic, but imagining Reeve's expression at hearing the news was worth the bit of exaggeration.

Besides, what wasn't dramatic was the fact that Reno actually managed to maintain balance fairly well, prompting Yuffie to step farther away from the Turk with some amount of relief. Short-lived relief, mind, because they weren't at his apartment yet, and there were plenty of obstacles in the way of getting Reno there in one piece. Really, the elevator alone was probably going to be a wondrous event.

Yeah, she did her reading. What of it?

Looking up the nearest wall, which just happened to belong to Seventh Heaven, the same bar Reno might have just been kicked out of for all the ninja knew, Kisaragi sighed. There was also the option of just taking him up and letting him sleep in her room on the second floor of the bar. Sure, the inevitable interrogation from Tifa wasn't anything to look forward to, and neither were the stairs, oh, fuck it all, the stairs, but this option seemed a heck of a lot more accessible at the moment.

So Yuffie pushed the red-head in the direction of the bar's front doors, somewhat entertained that he still managed to keep himself upright with the sudden jerk.

"Move it."


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own these characters, but the ideas and thoughts are my own.

* * *

Chapter 4

Sputtering and coughing, Reno was doing his best to keep his internal organs in his body, specifically his lungs in his chest. Oh… that was gunna hurt in the morning. Did that mean that the dumbass learned his lesson? Of course not. Wheezing and gasping for air, still coughing up a storm, the idiot crawled across the disgusting ground, retrieving his precious nicotine, not even brushing off the filter before sticking it back in his mouth. The glowing cancer stick rested between the ex-Turks lips as the little ninja went to help the bastard sit up. Between his hacking, the asshole, like the seasoned pro that he was, went back to taking drags from his cigarette. After a few moments Mr. Chimeny's breathing leveled out, for the most part anyway, and Yuffie figured it was time to offer him a helping hand up. The redhead looked up with playful eyes, talking between the remaining coughs that still were trickling past his lips.

Cough, hack… wheeze… "How kind a ya, doll." Cough, cough, sputter.

Taking the childs hand so as not to offend the hot headed Princess, Reno went to stand, although he mostly used the wall for support. In no time at all the ex-Turk was standing on his own two feet, wobbling very little for how much his vision was bobbling up, down and all around. The buildings, he knew, were supposed to be stationary objects, but at the current moment they had decided to take it upon themselves to dance around.

Damn those bastards and their parties.

Apparently the assassin was taking too long to make his attempt at walking and Yuffie decided to push the drunken asshole towards the nearest building, which just so happened to be yet another bar. The jerk couldn't help but smirk. He liked the girls style. Too bad the two had completely different ideas in mind.

Once inside the establishment, even though it was closed, Yuffie quickly realized that she had her work cut out for her. The bastard was leaning on her, using the child as a crutch to walk, until they were in reach of the bar that is. With the alcoholic yummies in sight, with a sudden lucidity the mother fucker smoothly and with precise skill, jumped over the bar, landing on the other side and promptly grabbing a bottle, slamming it back, downing a good portion before the ninja managed to sprint her way over to the bastard and put a stop to his over consumption. The dumbass pouted like a scolded puppy, but this was all a diversionary tactic. When the naïve child dropped her guard at the swindlers supposed cuteness, the assassin snuck past the Princess, acrobatically stumbling over to the next bartender station, grabbing the first bottle he could get his hands on, not caring what it was, tipping it back like he did the first. This time Yuffie had to tackle the intoxicated fool, the two wrestling on the ground like immature siblings, batting at each other hands, squabbling with one another as they fought over the container of prized liquid. This whole scene played out for a good fifteen minutes before Yuffie some how, and I stress some how, managed to get the asshole over to the stairs.

Knowing that Tifa and everyone else were probably asleep, the ninja was doing her best to try and keep the bastard as quiet as possible, but unfortunately that just wasn't going to happen. As the redhead attempted to climb the stairs, his system now flooded with a sudden rush of debilitating liquid, there was no way the stupid fucker could manage to stay standing on his own.

Step, step. BAM!

The ex-Turk slammed into one wall of the staircase, hard enough for Yuffie to feel the entire staircase shake.

Step. Stumble… step, step… BAM!

The normally agile assassin hit the other wall, this impact even harder than the one previous. Determined, however, the dumbass continued his climb in much of the same fashion, and to make matters worse, every time that Yuffie attempted to help, or at least try and stop the fucker from making so much damn noise, the redhead pushed her off, telling the child that he "got this" and continued to put make his way upward, one step, literally, at a time. Eventually they arrived at the girls room, and by the time they finally reached their destination she was surprise that they were still alive and that neither Tifa or Strife hadn't already killed them for all the noise.

* * *

Yuffie was not entertained. Yuffie was not entertained in the least. Actually, Yuffie was pretty pissed. No, Yuffie wasn't just pissed. Yuffie was livid. And this was going to be the last time that Yuffie did anything nice out of the goodness of her heart because all good deeds had this horrible way of haunting her. This time, the haunting happened much sooner than the norm, too, which would just be Reno's status quo. To be a complete pain in her ass.

So she dutifully wrestled the alcohol out of the Turk's hands. And she dutifully hovered over his stumbling form all the way up the stairs. And she dutifully got him to her room, closing the door behind them and wondering why it was that Tifa and Cloud weren't in the hallway, weapons at the ready. And, finally, she gave him her bed. _Dutifully_. She should have just made him sleep on the floor, but, no.

Sniffing in disdain, as much as the kid tried not to, she ended up placing her booted foot on the Turk's ass to push him roughly onto the bed frame. With how little balance he was maintaining with the added liqueur in his system, it took very little to get him moving, stumbling, and, ultimately, landing on the mattress with a satisfying sound of surprise that Kisaragi happily accepted as her payment for the pain of letting him sleep in _her _bed.

Nevermind that he gave her his own bed just some time ago. This was different. Yuffie wasn't quite sure _how _this was different, but it just was, damn it.

With a scowl on her lips, the brunette wondered farther into her room, thinking very little about pulling the comforter over Reno in a sort of haphazard attempt to get the Turk to stay still. Maybe cocooning him would help with, y'know, the moving thing. Unfortunately, it did jack for the talking thing, and that was usually the bigger culprit when it came to her headache causes.

And that's about the time that Yuffie found a nose poking out from under the comforter that she wrapped around the red-head. Just a nose. The very tip of it, in fact. Although Kisaragi could take that as a testament to a job well done, she couldn't get past the cuteness of the nose, which was making her feel horrible because the Turk, with just his nose poking out, was looking too damn helpless to treat so badly, and the brunette unconsciously eased up her hold on the comforter, pouting a little and placing one small finger to the tip of that stupid nose.

Then she pressed down. Hard.

"Beep."

Fuck him. Cute or not, he deserved everything coming his way. And what was coming his way was Kisaragi pressing him into the mattress, hiding his nose, and then proceeding to sit on top of the the red-head, his stomach down against the mattress.

Hopefully, that would keep him still until he'd fall asleep.

* * *

With how long it had taken the duo to make their way up the stairs and into Yuffie's room, the redhead was feeling the full affects of the recently consumed alcohol. The man had several years of drinking experience under his belt, way too many to count actually, but that night, amidst the battle for the prized liquid, the Turk could now admit that perhaps… just maybe… a little tinsy-winsy bit… that he had one too many drinks. Quickly approaching being shit faced slobbering drunk, the idiot was standing just on the other side of the door, the room a whirling vortex, the bastard not even sure where the god damn bed was. In a way, the asshole was appreciative of the ninjas swift boot to his ass, which sent him careening forward into the overly soft mattress.

Ahh… bed… step one accomplished.

As his head hit the pillow, the Turk found himself quickly drawn into the realm of sleep, the siren's call being too much to resist. The drunken bastard knew that falling asleep right now was a horrible idea, one of the worst he had in the last five years, but the jackass wasn't really able to help himself. This is why Yuffie found it so easy to wrap the idiotic redhead in a cocoon, and why he didn't really fight back when she went to cutely beep his nose, nor why he hardly struggled when the girl managed to flip him onto his stomach and sit on him to ensure that dumbass didn't leave. If anything, the Princess only helped to lull the beast into slumber, his horrible snoring a sure sign that Yuffie's goal had been reached… at least for now.

…. Cherry blossoms…

The sweet aroma filled the redhead nose, making him smile as he slowly started to return back to the land of the living. A small pleasant hum drifted past the Turks lips, eyes still closed, as he went to shift closer to the intoxicating scent. Vision still black as the assassin knew better than to open his eyes at this stage in the game, the ex-Turks nose bumped into something soft and fleshy when he turned his head to investigate the smell. His objective reached, the bastard used the full capacity of his lungs, drawing in as much air as he possibly could.

Mmm… cherry blossoms…

Reno couldn't think of a better way to wake up. Feeling a little more adventurous now, the redhead attempted to open his eyes, slowly letting the light in, allowing his pupils to adjust to the brightness. When the ex-Turk was finally able to focus on what was in front of him, the bastard found himself resting between two supple mounds of flesh, pushed together to form the worlds most comfortable pillow. There was even a space between these bountiful bundles for his nose to rest comfortably. It was almost as if this miraculous resting place was designed for his face.

Oh yes… this was an amazing way to wake up.

Mumbling happily under his breath, the redhead shifted about to get better acquainted with his new found pillow, turning his head to rest his cheek against the soft material, raising one of his hands to rest along the curve of delectable cloud of comfort. Its roundness seemed to fit perfectly in his hand and the redhead couldn't help but give it a gentle squeeze. The bastard wasn't sure why, it just seemed like the right thing to do. The damn thing was perfect, so perfect in fact that the asshole gave the thing a few more squeezes. The redhead couldn't help himself… no honestly, he really couldn't. Still half asleep, the Turk continued to mumble happily under his breath, and much like his groping, the enticing smell, mixed with the smoothness brushing against his cheek, Reno felt compelled to not just kiss his newly found pillow, but he gave it a small lick as well.

Oh yeah… that felt nice… tasted nice too… so nice in fact that the asshole went to give another kiss, this time allowing his lips to linger a bit longer before letting his tongue savor the overly sweet taste of cherry blossoms.

* * *

Her eyes were drifting closed. They just were, and she couldn't do anything about them. Apparently, sitting atop the furnace that was a certain, slobbering drunk, red-headed Turk was proving to be more lulling than Kisaragi ever thought possible, and from her vantage point, the ninja couldn't bring herself to start thinking about the cold, wooden, creaky floor that she'd inevitably end up on for the night. So she ignored the whole of _that_ situation, not even realizing when she went sliding off her perch and into the mattress at the red-head's side, asleep.

Although falling asleep was easy, waking up was rough.

Kisaragi barely set foot in the land of this thing called reality when she felt an unfamiliar, wet sensation in a swirl against her collar bone. Somewhat pleasant and somewhat uncomfortable, the sensation stopped only to repeat again, making the brunette contemplate actually moving her hand to push away whatever it was that was causing the strangeness.

In the end, she didn't. Not immediately at least, instead, sinking into her mattress and the warmth that was enveloping her unlike the comforter she was used to sleeping under. And all this, along with a small, satisfied smile on her lips, until she felt the distinct outline of a nose against her neck.

_Nose_?

Attention now caught, Yuffie stopped her attempts to meld into the bed, instead, turning completely rigid. Slowly, very slowly, as though hoping that she wasn't feeling what she was, as that _nose_ found her pulse to press against, the brunette opened her eyes, confirming her suspicions that there was, indeed, a person next to her. In her bed.

And not just any person either.

This person had red hair and smelled of smoke and _fuck_.

With a squeak of utter outrage, Kisaragi pitched her back into the wall, away from the Turk, her hands coming up to cover his lips and his _nose_, push the man away, as if that would help the situation any. Of course, it didn't, because her legs were still slung over his and her collar bone was tingling and just _fuck_.

Horribly enticed to knock out the red-head so he'd forget the entire incident, (because if he was left with the memory he'd never let her live it down), Yuffie decided to be the bigger man at the last moment and left Reno untouched while propelling herself, with an awkward sort of grace involved in crawling over a man who just pleasantly slobbered all over her collar bone, over the red-head and onto the creaky floorboards, tripping over the edge of the bed and hitting the floor with a loud thud.

Butt in the air, cheek to the ground, Kisaragi's feet still remained on the edge of the bed frame, oversized boots digging into Reno's side, and she found herself happy that she wasn't the only one suffering.

Groaning, the kid knocked her forehead against the ground, _a few times_, before deciding to give up on this idea of getting up because it just wasn't happening right now.

"I hate you, Reno. I fucking hate you."

* * *

Although the redhead was awake, he was still partly stuck in his happy little dream land, which the bastard was perfectly content to stay in. More than content actually, in fact he was fucking ecstatic and had no intention of ever leaving. Who would fucking want to? Unfortunately, much like most of his life, Reno received a rude awakening as his pillow started to protest, and violently mind you. One minute happily content licking and groping his comfortable resting place, then BAM, suddenly and without warning, two delicate hands pressed hard against his nose, nearly pushing the damn thing into his skull, it only takes five pounds of pressure ya know, forcing his neck to an almost unnatural angel. All like the flip of a fucking switch.

What the fuck was she trying to do… kill him?!

If she was, then what was the point in taking him home after finding him drunk in an alley way? Ok fine, he could understand committing the murder in privacy of her own home, if you do it right there is less of a mess to clean up and it can be a rather intimate event, especially if you know the person, but then why the hell did she let him sleep first? Was it some twisted sort of last meal or some shit like that? Knowing how unusual the ninja was, he honestly would't put it past her. The ex-Turk was really starting to believe that this so called Princess of Wutai would be the death of him, and not in the figurative sense.

Along with being unusual and refusing to act like a normal functioning adult, the other annoying yet awkwardly additive trait Yuffie possessed was being completely spastic. Reno had to admit, as a woman, waking up to him in your bed knowing his reputation, could be rather alarming, but the child reacted in a series of broken reactions, not one bit flowing smoothly. One moment she pushed his face away, then suddenly she ended up pressing her back to the wall, and just when you thought the twerp was done, she fucking decided to pole vault over him. The plan wasn't well thought out, that much was clear for the erratic ninja seemed to neglect the obvious fact that her feet were still entwined in his legs, securing her lower half on the bed. Not that Reno was complaining, well… at least with the end result anyway.

Splayed out in front of the Turk, who was still laying about casually in bed, was a cute little, round, perky ninja butt, complete with the added bonus of being in fantastically short shorts. Not much was left to the imagination. That tempting round bottom was within grabbing distance and you could bet your damn ass he was gunna grab it. Actually, you could bet Yuffies ass as it just so happened to be right there.

Pressing his legs tight together, ensuring that the brat could not remove her feet and make an escape, or at least not easily, the bastard chuckled to himself, going to pat the little twerps perfectly plump rump three times, slapping it ever so slightly, just enough to leave a little sting.

"Mornin' Princess. Practicin' fur da Olympics are ya?"

* * *

She felt him move, his legs shifting against her to trap the ninja in place, making her short-lived victory of digging the souls of her boots into his side insignificant in comparison to the fact that Kisaragi couldn't move. And she realized that she _definitely _couldn't move when she tried to jerk at the rough hand on her butt, which not only had the audacity to squeeze the flesh but slap its palm against the skin too. This provoked an angry yelp out of the brunette, making her struggle all the more against Reno's hold on her, which wasn't much of a hold, making her stuck legs that much more pride-wounding.

And that little quip of his wasn't making matters any better.

It didn't take Yuffie long to figure out, however, that struggling was a useless endeavor. At the strange angle, she could put very little effort into pulling herself free, and the more she seemed to work at trying to get away, the tighter Reno's hold on her legs got. So the ninja stopped moving altogether, just long enough for the Turk to relax. And the kid relaxed too, letting the natural pull of gravity slip her weight down onto the ground and out of the red-head's hold, until Kisaragi was able to coil up on the wooden floorboards, well out of Reno's grasp and now happily able to pay him back the favor of his wake up call.

If only she could manage to get up.

It was early morning, after all, and the brunette had not yet had coffee. Needless to say, moving was proving to be difficult. So Yuffie stayed in place, for now, not caring for the unnatural angle her body assumed, face turned towards Reno, large, hazel hues giving the Turk one heck of an unamused look. It was obvious that somewhere in that gaze lay a torturous promise, but the kid was helpless to act on it at the moment.

And the minutes stretched, in silence, an uncomfortable, unusual silence, until the ninja narrowed her eyes in determination and pushed herself up with a groan. Her movements rather fluid, given her intentions, Yuffie took her time to languidly stretch before wandering over to her desk and picking up the old-fashioned alarmed clock placed upon the wooden surface. Tifa gave it to her just in case Kisaragi felt up for being on time to something, y'know, _important_, but the damn thing wasn't ever really used.

Until now, that is.

Winding up the old clock, the ninja turned a happy smile to the red-head, having realized that the gadget was ready to work, and just as Reno pitched slightly away from the kid, almost as if understanding what she was about to do, she pounced him. No amount of his struggling was going to save the Turk from a ninja crawling on top of him and pinning him down to the best of her abilities before placing a ringing, ear-splitting volume and all, alarm clock against his ear to rattle that hungover head.

* * *

At first the ninja struggled cutely against the redhead, making several futile attempts to free her feet from the confines of his legs. Of course, being the asshole that he was, Reno wasn't going to give in. As a matter of fact, the bastard was highly entertained, a secret smile brushing his lips as he went to hold in his amused laughter. Eventually though, for reasons unknown to him, maybe just perhaps that the brat stopped fighting against him making the game boring, the ex-Turk let the tike melt to the floor, her body pooling in a puddle of morning protest. Already the redhead could tell this babe was one that needed coffee before you attempted to communicate with her, otherwise you could lose a hand… or your life, whichever required less effort at the time of the infraction.

Seeing as Reno had managed to make it through the night without the brat attempting to murder him, whether that was her original intent or not, the redhead was smart enough to not push his luck. Contrary to belief, the fucker actually valued his life.

By the time that the assassin was contemplating his next move, to stay in the brats company or to get up and make his exit, the choice was, apparently, made for him. Still lying on the bed, his half lidded eyes watching the non-threatening child, Yuffie stood up and innocently made her way over the night stand, picking up the alarm clock, going to set it.

… that was… odd…

Curious, the bastard was unsure what the brat was going to do. The lazy cat like man laid there, not moving, his eye intently watching. Was she going to take a nap? Setting the alarm implied that she wanted a timer for some reason. Did she perhaps have some engagement that she needed to attend? It seemed odd that the kid wanted to go back to sleep with him awake and in her bed, so what else could it be?

There was slight pause as the assassins dirty adult mind went to take over heading straight into the gutter.

Did that mean that she had other plans on what to do with the prey in her bed? Did that mean that whatever she intended to do to the redhead was going to be so long and drawn out that she needed a reminder to not run over her time limit before said engagement? The assholes erotic thoughts were starting to spin out of control and he became entranced by the imagery of a Dominatrix Yuffie, dressed in revealing leather, her white milky flesh criss-crossed with black string ties, twirling a pair of handcuffs around one of her slender fingers. He wasn't sure which he enjoyed more, the idea of her trying to break him, or him breaking the supposed dominant woman. Both had their appeal.

And… the redhead was gone… lost in his own delusion… only brought back to reality, far too soon mind you, when Yuffie went to take the alarm and hold the obnoxiously loud ringing device to his ear. Eyes closed and lost in his fairy tale, it was easy for the ninja to get the jump on the bastard.

"God damn—! Mother fuck… Shit… god…BRAT!" Reno would yell viciously as he was rudely ripped from his fantasy, not only with an ear drum shattering noise, but a quickly building headache. His body acting on instinct, his brain currently busy with continuing to pluck colorful word choices from expansive vocabulary, the ex-Turk grabbed a hold of the petite girl, hugging the child to his chest as he went to roll them over, switching their roles as Yuffie was now pinned to the bed, the mans calloused hands holding down her small, fragile wrists, the bastard hips finding their way between her legs. Forgetting the alarm clock, in a vain attempt to fight back, the ninja would buck her hips, twisting her body from side to side to try and break free. Of course the twerp wasn't going anywhere, not on Reno's watch, and the two suddenly found themselves nose to nose, their bodies hovering dangerously close to one another, trapped in an intense situation that neither one of them was expecting. Granted, neither one of the Turks heads were complaining, in fact one was rising to the occasion, encouraging the bastard to just go with the flow and run with it.

* * *

As per the usual norm, Yuffie underestimated Reno's ability to act in adverse circumstances. She figured that she'd have an easy time holding the poor Turk down and torturing the hell out of him with the alarm clock, but, alas, hangover or no, pounding head or no, ringing in the ears or no, the red-head somehow managed to weasel out of her hold and, in the process, get the upper hand.

The annoying ringing of the alarm clock slowly faded away, the vibration of it coming to a halt in her hand against the pillow. And then, silence. Silence that stretched. And for good reason, too. Because the ninja wasn't sure how to break the awkward contact that somehow managed to form between her and Reno. But she convinced herself that she wanted to.

If only, y'know, her wrists weren't pinned, and he wasn't inopportunely positioned in a way that prevented her legs from doing much, except perhaps digging her knees into his sides in the hope that his body doesn't slide down any closer to her own.

Although, maybe, it was a bit too late for trying to keep him at a safe distance because their noses were practically touching, so who really cared about the tangled legs, right? At least, that was Kisaragi's thought process until he slid closer with gravity's pull down, and the brunette found a flush of utter mortification rising up her neck and over her cheeks.

Trying to maintain what little dignity in this situation she had left, which wasn't much, mind, the kid growled.

"Get off me, Reno. Get off me now, or I swear to Leviathan…"

The threat was left hanging heavily in the air, mostly because Kisaragi wasn't quite sure what she'd do to the Turk, (although castration was a contender for her actions), but she didn't really get far enough to plan anything out before realizing that the man's hold on her wrists relaxed with the distracting proximity, and that gave her all the opportunity she needed to knock the alarm clock in her hand against the back of the Turk's head.

Springs, bolts, and the affixed double bell came crashing onto the bed in a disassembled mess, along with Reno, who slumped against his _handler_, passed out.

_Well, damn._

For the longest moment, the ninja just stayed still, staring up at the ceiling, the Turk's nose digging into her neck, her body uncomfortably pressed under the red-head's weight. So far, it seemed as though she's done a better job of hurting him than his supposed pursuit. And as sure as Kisaragi was that the Turk got knocked over the head more than a few times in his life, hence, was probably used to the treatment, she was beginning to think that she shouldn't make a habit of getting out of awkward situations with him that way. Awkward situations were just bound to happen because he was _Reno_, and knocking out what little brain was left in that thick skull of his wouldn't make matters any better.

With a heavy sigh, and an unwilling, muffled apology, the kid slid out from under the Turk.

By the time Reno woke up next, he'd find himself carefully tucked into Yuffie's bed with _guilty care_, along with a coffee on the bedside table for his trouble. His trouble in the form of a sore bump at the back of his head.

* * *

Reno was no stranger to sleeping around with women, in fact he had sort of perfected the art. Confidence was the key. These girls didn't give a shit about anything as long as you threw them up against a wall and were overly confident. Those two things and they melted quicker then butter in a hot pan. No really… it was that fucking simple. Why do you think the redhead got so damn bored of the chase? Besides the health benefits, it was the other big reason why he switched to attending gentlemen's clubs. Give the girls their money and they honestly don't give a shit. You could dance in a spider money costume for all they cared, just as long as you paid them first. In fact, if you made it clear you were just in it just for the fuck, they thanked you for it. It's a show for them to you know. Do you really think they like doing all that la-de-da French shit? They enjoyed it just as much the Turk enjoyed strutting around, pretending like he cared about being interested and being overly confident. The womanizing jerks usual sexual arrangements were a win-win situation for all involved.

Still, with the young ninja trapped between his legs, barely a lick of light between their bodies, the child so close he could smell the sweet cherry blossom scent of her skin, the bastards heart started to race and… was that a lump in his throat? The assassin shook his head slightly to try and shake the bizarre feeling. Maybe it was from the hangover. Yeah, that was it. Or he got up too quick and became dizzy, or… or too many cigarettes so he was suffering from a lack of oxygen. There were a bunch of reasons honestly, any one of those excuses would do. Still… staring down at the Princess, the assassin couldn't help but notice little things about her features… like how smooth her skin looked, and just how big and round her eyes were, and how the they seemed to sparkle when the light hit them just right.

Wait… was he holding his breath? What the fuck, yo?

Reno didn't get to really comprehend what was going on with his stupefied brain because as soon as he realized something was wrong, he was bashed in the back of the head… AGAIN… by the one and only White Rose of Wutai. At least this time he was thankful for the endeavor. He was pretty damn sure that he wasn't going to like the answer to his question and this way he had no choice but to deal with the issue at a later date. Thank Gaia for that.

And… fade to black.


End file.
